Meaningless Promotions

Companies have long since jumped on the bandwagon of Customer
Relationship Management and we have seen endless promotional deals to
reward customers. From telcos to even the smallest of restaurants, each
of us, at one point in time or another have benefitted from deals such
as this.

This is my experience on one such promotion.

2 weeks ago, I was in Parkway Parade and my sis-in-law, who had been
meaning to get a computer, was bent on getting one that weekend. She
was keen to get a computer from Courts using the usual credit
arrangement deals that they had, but I advised her against it because
she would be paying the installments long after the computer is
obsolete and after paying the interest, the final sum would be more
than double than the initial purchase price! A case in point - she was
looking at this system which had a price tag of S$1,999. After 48
months of paying $87, she would have ended up paying S$4176! Simple
arithmetic tells me that the price has increase by 108%, meaning that
over 4 years, the interest rate would have been a whopping 27%!

Anyway, that was not the issue, after explaining how ridiculous it was
to consider such an arrangement, I recommended to consider putting
together a system from scratch. Having my staff who is good at putting
together was clearly an advantage. I suggested that we see what the
ISPs were offering as bundle deals and go from there.

Lo and behold, there was a StarHub point of sale shop just opposite
when we walked out Courts.

I had a look and discovered that they were offering a free Compaq
Presario LCD Monitor with a sign up of their basic plan - for existing
customers. I assumed that they were interested in enticing their
existing Cable TV subscribers to hook on to their Broadband plans and I
thought that it was a great idea seeing as we would be saving a bundle
from having to purchase a monitor for the computer system.

I told her to sign up and I would put together a CPU, mouse and
keyboard for her.

This is where it gets ridiculous. The customer service officers advised
that if I took advantage of the complimentary installation, I would
only have to wait 5 days. If I opted for cash and carry, I would have
to wait 7 days to collect the monitor myself. "No brainer" - I thought,
so I suggested the complimentary installation, thinking that the
technician will come down with the equipment as well as the LCD
monitor. After rushing and putting together a CPU, mouse and keyboard
less monitor, within 3 days, I was confident and told my sis-in-law,
that she had just to wait for 2 more days before she's hooked up to the
World Wide Web.

On Friday, exactly 5 days after signing up, the technician comes and
immediately notices that there isn't a monitor attached to the system
and advised that he would not be able to install the system, as he
would have needed a monitor to setup the system. My mother-in-law who
was there, asked where the free LCD monitor was, and he replied that he
would have to install the system first and collect the money before
releasing a redemption letter to self-collect the LCD monitor from
Funan Ctr - after 7 more days! He suggested that we "borrow" a monitor
from someone first! Good God!

I was overseas at that time and when I came back, I gave the customer
service officer on the phone a great piece of my mind.

All I really got was the tired cliche that "it was their procedure".

So to summarize, we had to sign on the plan, wait 5 days for the
technician to come and install the system (of which we would require a
monitor) and then he gives us a letter to collect the LCD monitor
ourselves (which we would not really need any longer seeing as we would
have to get one for him to install the system in the first place).

Holy Moses! This is what you call "rewarding" the customer?

After explaining that we deliberately signed on for a plan for the
monitor and did not have any intention of "begging, borrowing or
stealing" a monitor just so that silly technician can do his
installation, this was the best that they could do to resolve the
situation.

"Go back to the shop where the plan was signed up, cancel the initial
order and re-apply another plan on a cash and carry basis". "Great", I
thought, then I could carry my monitor myself and solve this ridiculous
situation.

After going back to shop and explaining the situation all over again to
the bloke that was there, he said that he needed to check with StarHub,
as they were just 3rd party vendors. Mind you, this was Saturday
evening, the day after the failed installation on Friday. The bloke
tried calling and then told me that the customer service center manned
by StarHub was closed for the day. He advised us to come back again the
next day, on Sunday so that he could clarify the matter with them.
"Great" was the thought that went through my mind. "I had to spend 1
more day, ironing out this Bullshit".

The next day, after lunch at around 2pm, I went to the shop again. This
time the bloke seemed to be more aware of the situation, but he still
had to make more phone calls to confirm. "Bloody Hell" - I just wanted
this hell to end. "Nevermind, I need to upgrade my phone anyway, and I
told the bloke that I would return shortly. I popped over to SingTel
Hello shop and presented my vouchers. What a world of difference!
Finally a place where people knew what they were doing! Before I could
say Jack Robinson, I was out of there with my brand new Nokia 3230!
Kudos to you SingTel! You restored my faith in customer service!

Oh dear ... suddenly I realized that I had to go back to the StarHub
joint and see if that bloke finally has his act together. Just as I
thought, he hadn't! After another 45 minutes of waiting for him to
"clarify" the situation, he finally advised that he just need to amend
the original order form form the "Free Installation Deal" to "Cash &
Carry" - all of which took him 45 minutes on Saturday and 2.5 hours on
Sunday. "Great" I thought, finally we can sort this thing out.

After making the necessary amendments, I got my modem and wires and
stuff and he handed me a letter and said that I could go to Funan
Center and collect my LCD monitor - AFTER 7 DAYS!

Aaaaaaaaaargggggggghhhhhhhhh!